All quite suddenly, the summer is only left with a much weaker form of its previous full-fledged glory. Especially this summer, where we went through a super dry and hot season, with twin peaks of two severe heat waves bookend us — one at the beginner of the season, one at the end — this rather abrupt shift from summer to fall-like weather feels a little bit unreal, no gradual process at work that eyes can see, no cushioning. One day we were still in short-sleeved shirt, shorts, hat and sunglasses and secretly cursing the everyday onslaught of intense sunlight, the next day we were all of a sudden greeted with somewhat unfamiliar and yet familiar color of grey cloudiness and the accompanied cool, almost chilled air. The weather of a typical fall in the city has arrived. All at once we felt the need to dig out our sweaters and long pants again.
This feels a lot like life. Once you turn the corner, cross a line, move a step over, a whole new scenery unfolds and a new chapter begins, like it or not. The bygone is gone and all is transformed into a melancholic sense of longing we feel or memory to behold; sometimes, it could even plunge us into a confusing state close to illusion, in which with the passing of time we increasingly feel like we could not be sure it had ever existed. For example, it’s like kids finishing a grade and moving on to the next one, or eating a lot because you were ravenously hungry and feeling suddenly you were too full, or couples parting ways, or life and death.
The world existed for us before we moved back to the States, after some 6–7 years in Singapore, before the pandemic hit, already feels a lot like this, though only in retrospect did we realize it. When we left Asia, we thought it’s only a hop on the plane from Seattle before arriving at any of our beloved destinations in Asia. Little did we know what awaited us, that separates the world and has made international travel across borders quite a formidable task that one would not take on easily. But really who would have known!
The longing for my old digs has grown the more unbearable, the more improbable it has become that the world would not just return to its prior “normalcy” anytime soon, or ever. I shall take a trip soon. I mean, vicariously. After all, the freest place is always our mind.
